Now that we all forgot what sleeping in feels like, here’s a late gift to all of you for this past holiday season.
It’s been a few weeks since Mr. Yousefian bemoaned any and all English essay writing assignments to his AP Calculus BC class. “The only English class I did decently on in college was linguistics. Do you know how mathy that is?”
Not a day passed before I had asked every HGM teacher to agree to both give and take an HGM test. The rules were simple: the test had to be a period long, and the teacher must have given the test to their students before. They did not know whose test they would receive, but I meticulously structured the chain of eight teachers to administer to each a test in their worst subject.
Order:
Maine’s wordy physics c -> Bradbury’s witty wordplay
Bradbury’s history -> Espinosa’s youth
Espinosa’s reproductive biology -> “Sex Questions Friday” Gardner
Gardner’s brutal grammar diagnostic -> Nguyen’s Vietnamese
Nguyen’s statistics -> Underwood’s grading system
Underwood’s DBQ -> Yousefian’s linguistics
Yousefian’s HGM precalc -> the new Ardagna
Ardagna’s Spanish -> Maine’s Europeanness???
The resulting hilarity is… well, have a look.
Surprisingly, the man who started all of this with his hatred of essays scored better than the max 9 on his penny-themed synthesis essay. Mrs. Underwood unironically loved his pun-packed logic, however it did take a few extra periods. After finishing his magnificent title and intro he exclaimed, “How do you do this in 40 minutes??!” Now all he has to work on is his punctuality for letters of rec.
I couldn’t have done this without the lovely teachers and community of the HGM. I wouldn’t rather attend any other high school. Thank you all!
Con spirito,
Oomi Pammit (HGM ‘19)