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Doubtful Derrick

May 17, 2017

Dear Hikmet, 

My problem is that I’m really cringy. I try not to, but I just find the words flowing out of my mouth. My friends and my classmates all tell me that I’m very cringy, and I get really embarrassed sometimes. I say stupid things, and then regret them a couple of seconds later. Do you have any advice/tips for me?

-Doubtful Derrick
 

Dear Doubtful Derrick, 

You seem to have a measure of self awareness about the problem--a vital first step. If you truly lack control over your own actions, there’s nothing you can do to change (although if it's any consolation, you're not morally responsible for your words in that case). Otherwise, when you feel like saying something repeat it a couple of times in your head first. Imagine how you would feel if someone else said it, and try to predict people’s reactions. Choose your battles; only talk to people if they want to be talked to. The occasional witty comment will lead to you being well-liked, but a constant stream of uninteresting speech will push others away. You're highly gifted; you’re good at recognizing patterns, even social ones. Over time you can learn what you should and shouldn’t say and when you should and shouldn’t say it. 

-Hikmet

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