4/18/17, 4:45am
I am currently writing this for the sole purpose of trying to keep my eyes from closing. I have had no coffee, no sugar, no caffeine of any kind, and most importantly no fun. It is hour 23 of 24 and I'm really starting to feel my brain going numb from exhaustion. I'm convinced it's been an hour since I last checked the time.
...it's been 2 minutes.
I should probably explain why I’m in this situation: I have a film project that was due 5 days ago. Needless to say, I’m royally screwed. Not only do I still have editing to do, but I have reached a point where I don’t trust my brain with simple functions.
4:58am
Woah, its 4:58, I think I fell asleep with my eyes open there for a second.
Anyways as I was saying, I decided not to poison myself with caffeinated drinks, or handfuls of sugar, but I’m caving. You know, my starbucks opens in a few minutes, maybe if I go, the ambience and caffeinated sugary concoctions will keep me from passing out. But that means I need to get up, put on shoes, get in the car, start the car, drive the car, all of which seem like simple tasks, but I am currently out of breath from typing.
So my friend (who originally thought he’d only have to stay until around 7 p.m. of yesterday (was it? It feels like I haven’t slept in a week.) warned me to not fall asleep in the shower and sure enough, I almost did. Thankfully, he was so dead he couldn’t rub it in, but in the future don’t shower when you’re about to pass out. Drowning isn’t fun awake or asleep.
4:02 pm
So I got a little off subject. It's now the next day. I have been awake for 34 hours. I have decided I am going to make a list for those who dare to challenge sleep.
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First rule: stock up! Stock up on caffeine, sugar, anything that will keep you going. To stay away from sugar and caffeine, I decided to take a pre workout energizer, but all it did was make me feel extremely tingly, which when sleep deprived feels more like needles in your skin. I gave it to my friend who started rolling on the floor in pain as I started to write this… so that’s definitely something to consider. In addition to my acupuncture, I felt the intense urge to be productive, but lacked the energy to do anything. Honestly, just drink coffee. Save yourself.
Second rule: make a schedule! Plan out everything you plan on doing, because having a goal helps to keep you awake. I only started writing this article to keep me awake for the final stretch of my all-nighter.
Third rule (and possibly most important): make sure that other than whatever it is you are trying to finish, you have nothing important in your other classes. I say this because it is the day after, and unfortunately I spent all day passing in and out of consciousness. If you asked me what I did in my classes today, I wouldn't be able to answer you.
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After finishing my presentation of my project, my goal for the day became to look like I was paying attention in class. I can say without a doubt that I failed, and that I looked like a corpse for the remainder of the day.
In retrospect I regret my decision.
I was brain dead in class, and don't even remember having nutrition and lunch breaks. The only reason my grades didn't suffer was probably because my teachers recognized the expression on my skulking face and took pity. I can say with full confidence, two things; don't ever pull an all-nighter, and most certainly don't come to me for advice.